On the public-private divide

Interests engineering

I change my LJ interests every now and again. I've just done it this weekend, although it wasn't a dramatic overhaul. Sometimes I try to reflect the sorts of things I write about. Sometimes I'm inspired by seeing something on someone else's list.

There are two ommissions from the list which feel glaring to me. Things I'm at least as interested in as many of the other things on the list. I almost wrote: 'Most people who know me in real life will be aware of them', but that's a lie. Most of my friends are aware of them. It's not a big deal, I don't feel I'm misrepresenting myself by excluding them, and I wouldn't think it was that important if I was, but still. Every now and again, I almost add one or both of them to the list, and then stop. If we could have friends-locked interests, they'd be on the list.

On LJ Friends

Are LJ Friends the same as RL Friends? The people whose company you enjoy? Are they the people you trust with secrets, with Friends-locked posts? Are they the people you seek out, and want to read on your Friends page?

I'm mostly Friending people whose journals I read, and where I use Friends-locking, it's usually because I'm writing something I don't want visible to the world, rather than because I'm writing secrets. If I'm venting about work, I don't much mind who knows it, I just don't want it completely in the open. If what I'm writing is a secret, I'll lock to specific people, and say who those people are.

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What both of these things come down to, I think, is the sort of thing I'm happy to tell any random person in the street, without first checking if they're:

• a colleague of my mother
• my boss's husband
• related to smiorgan

... or someone like that.

My favourite colour? Fine. What sort of books I like to read? No problem. Even the fact that I have a tattoo is public domain.

The two missing interests aren't public domain. I considered locking this post and saying what they are. No reason not to - most of you already know them, and those that don't are hardly going to be shocked. But still, saying it in public... too personal. Too much. In casual conversation with any of you, I'd happily admit to them, but even if surrounded by all of you, I'm not going to stand up and make an announcement, which is what claiming them on LJ would feel like.