Names

[triskellian]

I share a first name with someone else in my social group. We're mostly in different parts of the wider group, so I find it's fairly obvious for each of our mutual friends which one of us gets the surname tacked on to distinguish. She also uses the full version of the name, which I hardly ever do. We've both been known to call ourselves 'the other one' in email conversations we're both participating in. This all makes sense.

What interests me is when people with the only instance of a common name in a given group always get their surname tacked on 'to distinguish them'. Take 'Mark'. I do know several Marks, but there is one who moves much more in my group than the other Marks, and who is the only Mark I have in common with most of my immediate group of friends. Nevertheless, everyone always uses his full name to refer to him. For some time now, I've been experimenting with just referring to him by his first name, and people always have to clarify which Mark I mean.


First names

Last night, there was a drunken conversation revolving around imaginary babies, and what they should be called. We fought over who was entitled to use a name all of us liked, and we criticised each other's choices.

Why do people choose common names for their children? Why do people want their child to be one of four people they know called James (used as an example because I actually know hardly anyone called James ;-) Conversely, why do they choose outrageous names, that will forever have to be spelt out, that will mark the child for ridicule?

verlaine had - and perhaps still has - a list of names for his hypothetical daughters. I think they were Zianya, Alonwy, Amanita and Remember (always in that order ;-). Two of which I think are beautiful, but I still wouldn't use them.

My best friend and her sisters all have relatively boring first names and relatively interesting middle names, to allow them a choice as adults. One of them has in fact changed to her middle name, although she was the one with the most boring first name. This seems like a great idea, although more use for girls than boys.

Who wants to give a boy a pretty name and discover he grows up to be a rugby player or a lager lout, or some such un-pretty thing? A pretty name is an advantage for an ugly girl, but not for an ugly boy ;-)

But then, I'm not entirely decided on the choice issue, either. Should people choose their own name? With friends who have changed either their whole name, or the version they use, I make an effort to respect their wishes, and when I changed mine, at about fourteen, I was glad that most people respected that, although the change was small. I see my name as a gift from my parents, and one I'm glad to have. But then, I'm lucky. I like my name, and it gives me lots of choice. I'd probably feel differently if I was saddled with my middle name (Jane). If I had been able to choose my own name upon becoming an adult, chances are high that I'd have picked the one I have anyway, so I'm probably not the best person to judge.

Which brings me to my next thought: why do people name their children after themselves? I would be unable to give a hypothetical daughter my favourite female name, because it's already mine, and I don't approve of duplicated names within a family.


I have some thoughts on surnames as well, but I'm not getting very far with those at the moment ;-)

Anyway. Who likes their name? Why? What would you choose if it was standard practice to choose a name for yourself on adulthood?

Comments

[kauket.livejournal.com]

I hate my name, and my surname is worse. But then you'd know about that one too.....

[triskellian]

So what would you change your first name to?

Re:

[kauket.livejournal.com]

I dunno......

I wouldn't want something that someone we know already has....

I like Meg, i like Amber. it's hard though, I've never really thought about it, and every name I think of has some sort of association with someone I know.

I quite like names of flowers or plants - like Poppy.

What would you change yours to?

[triskellian]

I wouldn't change mine - I love it.

I like Amber, too, but I have a cousin (second cousin? cousin once removed? something like that) with Amber as her first name, and then my first and second as her second and third, so I couldn't have that ;-(

[toxicbunny.livejournal.com]

Verlaine is an inexhaustible font of outrageous baby names :)

(but annoyingly I can't remember any of them off the top of my head. Except for "Flimsy".)

I usually think of Kauket as Meg - it's an unconscious thing. And weirdly, people calling me by my name often makes me nervous. I have no idea why.

[triskellian]

Verlaine is an inexhaustible font of outrageous baby names :)
He had a thing for 'Florian' for boys at one point, too. Accompanied by some suitably outrageous surname which I can't now remember.

I usually think of Kauket as Meg - it's an unconscious thing.
Yeah, there's quite a few Mono people I still think of mostly by their usernames, and have to translate into real names for some people.

people calling me by my name often makes me nervous. I have no idea why.
Because presumably they mispronounce it a lot?

And what would you rather be called? (As opposed to names)

[triskellian]

(As opposed to names)
That was supposed to say 'named' ;-)

[venta.livejournal.com]

I do know at least one person who is always called by his full name, not particularly to distinguish him, but just because it trips off the tongue easily. He's a Mark, too, so I wonder if it's just that it's a rather short and flimsy name by itself, and quite commonly used, so it tends to come with surname attached...

Oh, and I like my name too :)

[triskellian]

Presumably not the same Mark?

[venta.livejournal.com]

I don't think so.

I presumed you were meaning Mark Charlsley. I was referring to Mark Carter who, unless we're about to have one of those small world moments, I don't believe you know.

Baby names

[lathany.livejournal.com]

Well, I haven't a clue why people name their children after themselves. It was the last thing I would have done to the twins. Having the real thing - you can see what sort of names (Dom and) I chose !

My parents gave me a name each on the principle that I could switch if I wanted (my middle name is Karen). I quite like Dawn, but it is one of the many that leads to a lot of jokes at school.

The main thing I have noticed about first names is that people *will* shorten them, unless they are already shortened (I've occasionally had people lengthening mine - but it never stuck). Consequently I think it is a wise move to chose a name you can also live with the shortened form of. When my mother was still working (as a primary school teacher), one of the biggest complaints that the parents raised was when their beloved child was called by the shorten form (by my mother, other teachers or other kids). This was particularly true for boys called "Christopher" for some reason.

Re: Baby names

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

I knew a guy at school named Jonathon, whose mother always corrected anyone who called him Jon, which was his preferred version by the time he was in the sixth form.

With his younger brother, Christopher, she didn't object to people calling him Chris, and she herself referred to him as "Wiz".

Nobody ever worked out why.

[unknownid.livejournal.com]

I like mine -- it's short and unusual. I don't like my last name at all, which is also short and unusual. there dieth the logic.

My girlfriend has, since coming to America, started using her middle name (mostly out of frustration and disgust with the constant mispronouncing/spelling of "Deirdre", although she's never liked her name). Then again, it's Elizabeth, and I've never yet met an Elizabeth who's discontented with her name! I think it might just be a Good Name.

Amongst Ashekenazi Jews, it's considered terrible luck to name a baby a name that's borne by someone in your family -- the fear is that the Angel of Death will, when coming for the older family member, mistakenly take the younger.

Pretty unusual names

[leathellin.livejournal.com]

Are all very well but they do have some distinct disadvantages.
For a start every bugger remembers you. All the bullies, teachers, clients, random people you bump into at parties. Which doesn't have to be be bad but that's no guarantee they will correctly remember your name.

As if that wasn't bad enough my name turns up in all sorts of interesting places as well.

If I had ever had a brother the poor boy would have been called Merlin.

I do like my name though ;-)