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triskellianI share a first name with someone else in my social group. We're mostly in different parts of the wider group, so I find it's fairly obvious for each of our mutual friends which one of us gets the surname tacked on to distinguish. She also uses the full version of the name, which I hardly ever do. We've both been known to call ourselves 'the other one' in email conversations we're both participating in. This all makes sense.
What interests me is when people with the only instance of a common name in a given group always get their surname tacked on 'to distinguish them'. Take 'Mark'. I do know several Marks, but there is one who moves much more in my group than the other Marks, and who is the only Mark I have in common with most of my immediate group of friends. Nevertheless, everyone always uses his full name to refer to him. For some time now, I've been experimenting with just referring to him by his first name, and people always have to clarify which Mark I mean.
First names
Last night, there was a drunken conversation revolving around imaginary babies, and what they should be called. We fought over who was entitled to use a name all of us liked, and we criticised each other's choices.
Why do people choose common names for their children? Why do people want their child to be one of four people they know called James (used as an example because I actually know hardly anyone called James ;-) Conversely, why do they choose outrageous names, that will forever have to be spelt out, that will mark the child for ridicule?
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verlaine had - and perhaps still has - a list of names for his hypothetical daughters. I think they were Zianya, Alonwy, Amanita and Remember (always in that order ;-). Two of which I think are beautiful, but I still wouldn't use them.
My best friend and her sisters all have relatively boring first names and relatively interesting middle names, to allow them a choice as adults. One of them has in fact changed to her middle name, although she was the one with the most boring first name. This seems like a great idea, although more use for girls than boys.
Who wants to give a boy a pretty name and discover he grows up to be a rugby player or a lager lout, or some such un-pretty thing? A pretty name is an advantage for an ugly girl, but not for an ugly boy ;-)
But then, I'm not entirely decided on the choice issue, either. Should people choose their own name? With friends who have changed either their whole name, or the version they use, I make an effort to respect their wishes, and when I changed mine, at about fourteen, I was glad that most people respected that, although the change was small. I see my name as a gift from my parents, and one I'm glad to have. But then, I'm lucky. I like my name, and it gives me lots of choice. I'd probably feel differently if I was saddled with my middle name (Jane). If I had been able to choose my own name upon becoming an adult, chances are high that I'd have picked the one I have anyway, so I'm probably not the best person to judge.
Which brings me to my next thought: why do people name their children after themselves? I would be unable to give a hypothetical daughter my favourite female name, because it's already mine, and I don't approve of duplicated names within a family.
I have some thoughts on surnames as well, but I'm not getting very far with those at the moment ;-)
Anyway. Who likes their name? Why? What would you choose if it was standard practice to choose a name for yourself on adulthood?
What interests me is when people with the only instance of a common name in a given group always get their surname tacked on 'to distinguish them'. Take 'Mark'. I do know several Marks, but there is one who moves much more in my group than the other Marks, and who is the only Mark I have in common with most of my immediate group of friends. Nevertheless, everyone always uses his full name to refer to him. For some time now, I've been experimenting with just referring to him by his first name, and people always have to clarify which Mark I mean.
First names
Last night, there was a drunken conversation revolving around imaginary babies, and what they should be called. We fought over who was entitled to use a name all of us liked, and we criticised each other's choices.
Why do people choose common names for their children? Why do people want their child to be one of four people they know called James (used as an example because I actually know hardly anyone called James ;-) Conversely, why do they choose outrageous names, that will forever have to be spelt out, that will mark the child for ridicule?
verlaine had - and perhaps still has - a list of names for his hypothetical daughters. I think they were Zianya, Alonwy, Amanita and Remember (always in that order ;-). Two of which I think are beautiful, but I still wouldn't use them.My best friend and her sisters all have relatively boring first names and relatively interesting middle names, to allow them a choice as adults. One of them has in fact changed to her middle name, although she was the one with the most boring first name. This seems like a great idea, although more use for girls than boys.
Who wants to give a boy a pretty name and discover he grows up to be a rugby player or a lager lout, or some such un-pretty thing? A pretty name is an advantage for an ugly girl, but not for an ugly boy ;-)
But then, I'm not entirely decided on the choice issue, either. Should people choose their own name? With friends who have changed either their whole name, or the version they use, I make an effort to respect their wishes, and when I changed mine, at about fourteen, I was glad that most people respected that, although the change was small. I see my name as a gift from my parents, and one I'm glad to have. But then, I'm lucky. I like my name, and it gives me lots of choice. I'd probably feel differently if I was saddled with my middle name (Jane). If I had been able to choose my own name upon becoming an adult, chances are high that I'd have picked the one I have anyway, so I'm probably not the best person to judge.
Which brings me to my next thought: why do people name their children after themselves? I would be unable to give a hypothetical daughter my favourite female name, because it's already mine, and I don't approve of duplicated names within a family.
I have some thoughts on surnames as well, but I'm not getting very far with those at the moment ;-)
Anyway. Who likes their name? Why? What would you choose if it was standard practice to choose a name for yourself on adulthood?
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Re:
Date: 2003-01-03 10:47 am (UTC)I wouldn't want something that someone we know already has....
I like Meg, i like Amber. it's hard though, I've never really thought about it, and every name I think of has some sort of association with someone I know.
I quite like names of flowers or plants - like Poppy.
What would you change yours to?
no subject
Date: 2003-01-03 11:12 am (UTC)I like Amber, too, but I have a cousin (second cousin? cousin once removed? something like that) with Amber as her first name, and then my first and second as her second and third, so I couldn't have that ;-(