Stupid lyrics competition

[triskellian]

Boss's Boss, in Friday afternoon mode, is trying to collect stupid lyrics, inspired by this line from 'Africa' by Toto:

"Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti"

Anyone got any song lyrics dafter than that?

Comments

[elethe.livejournal.com]

All of Please Please Tell Me Now by Duran Duran - but especially "you're about as easy as a nuclear war" and "can you read my mind, can you see in the snow?"

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

I always thought this from U2 was particularly silly:

You know some places are like your auntie
But there's no place like
Miami, my mammy

(Auntie? What?!)

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

My, my, but time do fly
When it's in another pair of pants
And illusion I will be
For I've never been a sinner, la di da

David Bowie, Battle for Britain (The Letter).

[blondeccgirl.livejournal.com]

How about:

'Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains'

Plus a prize for anyone who knows which song it comes from!

Re:

[triskellian]

Oh god, I'd forgotten about that one. Yup, I do know which song it is. <shudder>

Re:

[triskellian]

That makes no sense! Thanks!

Re:

[triskellian]

<boggles>

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[triskellian]

Would that be American pants or British ones?

Re:

[onebyone.livejournal.com]

The context does not make it clear.

[secretrebel.livejournal.com]

I've always thought Cliff Richard's Livin' Doll song made no sense whatsoever...

Got a roving eye
And that is why
She satisfies
My soul.
Got the one and only walking talking, living doll.

Whafuc?

The lyrics of the Beatles' 'Yesterday' don't work either. :/

Re:

[triskellian]

I hate you I hate you I hate you. I now have 'Living Doll' playing in my head. Grrrrr.

(And I'll be slightly later than I said I would, cos I have to stop at Tesco on the way. Hope that's OK.)

Sensible lyrics

[metame.livejournal.com]

"Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti"

Perfectly sensible - enormous bloody plain, great big bloody free standing mountain. The comparison with Olympus also evokes the thought of an Olympan flame - symbol of excellence and fairness - a burning flame was set atop Kilimanjaro when it's peak was named - Uhuru, meaning freedom. See
"The Uhuru Torch symbolises freedom and light. It was first lit on top of mount Kilimanjaro (5,895m) in 1961, symbolically to shine the country and across the borders to bring hope where there is despair, love where there is enmity and respect where there is hatred. Yearly there is the Uhuru Torch race, starting from different prominent places in the Republic."

[smiorgan.livejournal.com]

Moving

shame on the girl, she's got a big black dog in her
and while tough kids sing about tough kids she just skins the world
we'll never never play the harp, and we'll stick like sick on the stars
and if you can take it I can take these stones from my heart

My Insatiable One

On the high wire, dressed in a leotard
there wobbles one hell of a retard
on the escalator
we shit paracetemol
as the ridiculous world goes...by

But my favourite - in its entirity

Introducing the Band

Dog man star took a suck on a pill
And stabbed a cerebellum with a curious quill
Europe, america, winterland
Introducing the band

Chic thug stuttered through a stereo dream
A fifty knuckle shuffle heavy metal machine
The tears of suburbia drowned the land
Introducing the band

So steal me a savage, subservient son
Get him shacked-up, bloodied-up and sucking on a gun
I want the style of a woman, the kiss of a man
Introducing the band

And as the sci-fi lullaby starts to build
See them whipping all the women, cracked governments killed
Oh let the century die to violent hands
Introducing the band

Re: Sensible lyrics

[triskellian]

His objection was the simile "the mountain is like this other mountain".

And, OK, I don't know anything about Kilimanjaro, but Olympus isn't just one mountain, it's a great big* heap of bits of mountain. Certainly not one definite peak. I know, I've walked up part of it.

(That's gotta be pretty high up the list of things you never thought you'd hear me say: "I walked up a mountain" ;-)

* OK, big is relative.

Damn. What is it with me and the footnotes this week?

Re:

[triskellian]

Ah, Suede. Can always rely on them for daft lyrics ;-)

[ealuscerwen.livejournal.com]

Traditionally, the daftest song lyrics are:

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

I'm not sure I disagree.

[dr-bob.livejournal.com]

Then there's the classic:

I'm your only Friend, I'm not your only Friend,
but I'm a little glowing friend,
but really I'm not actually your friend
but I am.

And the rest of the lyrics from Birdhouse in Your Soul, by They Might be Giants are almost as unintelligible.

Re:

[narenek.livejournal.com]

They're perfectly intelligable, they're just silly.

The rest of Flood has some absolute corkers including:

If I were a carpenter I'd
Hammer on my piglet, I'd
Collect the seven dollars and I'd
Buy a big prosthetic forehead
And wear it on my real headWe Want A Rock (http://www.tmbg.org/band-info/songs/lyrics/WeWantaRock.html)

and

The wonders of Particle Man (http://www.tmbg.org/band-info/songs/lyrics/ParticleMan.html)